Don’t ignore cultural differences between Russia / Ukraine and Western Europe (or USA) when trying to seduce your Slavic correspondent. Nothing could be worse for your romantic relationship than you arriving in Russia or Ukraine, overly sure of your "strengths" and bristling with prejudices. During my 4 years looking for the man of my life in the West I often met men imbued with this type of personality, rich Americans thinking to buy my love like a new car. As you can imagine men who are too materialistic are not really my "cup of tea"... and this sentiment is shared by many of my Russian friends.
I'll discuss in this chapter some basic rules of seduction that you should know before trying to seduce a Russian or Ukrainian woman. I really say "try” because Russian & Ukrainian women who look like supermodels, with a good education and who are really eager to start a family with a Western man are anything but "easy girls".
What you need to know first of all is that your sweetheart has a vague idea (often distorted by the Russian media) about “western” life and it will take some time for her to get used to it once in your country. Attitudes or behaviors that seem "strange" or rude to her at the beginning of your relationship will seem normal to her after a few years spent in Western Europe. She will gradually integrate into her new country.
Meeting between John and Tatiana in Kiev: John is a brilliant 30-year-old American businessman living in Florida, and is quite handsome. He contacted Tatiana after joining a marriage agency or an online dating club. Tatiana is a beautiful young woman of 22 who successfully completed her studies and wants to start a family with a Western man. Tatiana has many suitors in UKraine, and she is also regularly contacted by dozens of Western men. John and Tatiana exchanged several romantic letters and finally decided to meet. He came to Kiev for a week to get to know her her. During their first outing in town he shares his surprise with Tatiana when they find some expensive items, as he enjoys finding the best deals before anyone else. Street vendors offering beautiful roses for a few grivnas exasperate him, because he does not like when someone tries to "force his hand", he states that if he wants to give her flowers, it will be up to him to choose where and when. In the evening they meet at the restaurant. Tatiana wore her most beautiful dress and makeup for this event. To show his "cool and youthful" side, John shows up at the restaurant in jeans and sneakers. During the evening he talks about his passion for luxury cars, he told her about his large house by the sea and its magnificent pool edge. John talks a lot about himself, he seems to feel himself like a great deal. The food is delicious and plentiful... the two "lovebirds" cannot finish their plates. John asks the server to put her leftovers in plastic boxes so that they can take home the remaining food. It is a common American habit (the doggy bag) to be able to bring home the remains of a restaurant meal. During his stay in Ukraine John meets Tatiana's parents: at this family gathering in an effort to show them his attachment to Tatiana, he frequently took her in his arms and kissed her on the cheek, somewhat in the manner of a child who cajoles. During their week together in Kiev John often asked what Tatiana thought about him... but he neglected to say what he thought of her.
Tatiana never wanted to see John again, she wrote him a “farewell” letter a few weeks after his departure from Kiev, explaining that they were not right for each other. In order not to "offend" him, she took care not to mention all the "errors" that John committed during his unsuccessful attempt at seduction. John did not understand this failure: he thought that Tatiana was a scam and he hastily sent the profile of the young woman to anti-scam agencies. He is convinced that he has been "scammed" and that Tatiana met him for a few nights at a restaurant and to get some gifts.
In fact John is dead wrong. Tatiana is a good girl who never wanted to scam him. John made several "faux pas" and was not a true gentleman according to Tatiana.
Once you finish reading this section you can read this example again with a trained eye and know what mistakes "playboy" John made in his first (and unfortunately only) meeting with Tatiana.
An analysis of the Russian & Ukrainian lifestyle can help you understand the sentimental (and sexual) behavior of the majority of Slavic women.
During the 70 years of communism experienced by Russia & Ukraine, it was very difficult for citizens to own their apartment. The Soviet state owned all the buildings and apartments where people lived and decided whether to give an apartment to a particular person. The only way to become an owner was to sign up on a waiting list and wait for decades. Given the difficulty of having one’s own apartment, many people lived with their parents. It is common in Russia & Ukraine to see young couples live with their parents, get married, and then have children later in this same apartment. 3 generations often live in the same small apartment!!
Russian & Ukrainian apartments are built according to the same pattern: a small entrance hall, a tiny kitchen, a very small living room, a bathroom... and only one bedroom!! These apartments have a living area of 29-33 square meters. Imagine the intimacy 3 generations of the same family have in these apartments!! Under these conditions, lovemaking couples are pretty... "silent".
You might think that communism is part of the past and that any Russian or Ukrainian citizen can now freely own property. True, but there is a major problem: the mortgage % is extremely high in Russia / UKraine. Apartments must be paid for mostly in cash!! Even the smallest apartment in Russia / Ukraine currently costs expensive for population; and in cities such as Moscow or St. Petersburg a small apartment costs as in Western Europe. Very few Russians have the means to pay cash for these apartments and thus cannot buy property.
Children (or young couples) usually sleep in the bedroom, and the parents sleep in the living room. Due to the limited space, the members of a Russian family learned the fine art of compromise as a matter of survival. Russians do not express "affectionate outbursts" with their family or in public; they are quite reserved about displays of affection.
For 70 years, Soviet communists prohibited freedom of expression, banished religion, and all forms of public demonstration of love were immediately suppressed. Sensuality was prohibited in the cinema and literature: romantic films and showed a man and a woman who loved... well... in reserve!! Watching these movies gave the impression of a relationship between two friends rather than a passionate relationship between two lovers. The actors exchanged “cold kisses,” if you know what I mean!!
If you visit your Slavic sweetheart in her own country, do not show too much affection towards her when you are in the presence of her family, or you may "embarrass" the whole family!! And do not think that this type of behavior will change in one day.
Times have certainly changed, Russian & Ukrainian girls are freer in this aspect and are less hesitant to embrace their boyfriend or fiancé in the street, but an overwhelming majority of the Russian / Ukrainian population is still struggling to break taboos.
The fact that Slavic women have learned to contain their emotions does not mean that they are sexually inhibited!! From a sexual point of view Russian & Ukrainian women are of course absolutely not different from other women around the world. But the fact is that they must contain their emotions and feelings in public and at home and that creates a kind of frustration.
Failing to express their feelings and impulses in public, Slavic women express their sensual instincts another way, adopting a sexy look and creating a desirable appearance ...
But do not get me wrong! The fact that these women from Russia & Ukraine wear highly suggestive outfits does not mean that they are "easy girls", it’s quite the opposite!
If you think that Russian & Ukrainian women are easy to approach and are prone to "adventures" because of their sexy and seductive outfits you may be sorely disappointed!!! If you approach one of them in the street and try to strike up a conversation, the sexiest Russian woman will suddenly turn into an icy beauty and won’t even give you a smile!!
Slavic women love to wear sexy and sensual clothing. They like to wear clothes putting their bodies on display, such as short skirts and tight tops with low necks. Western men are surprised to find (especially in summer of course), the number of Russian & Ukrainian women dressing sexily. Women from Russia & Ukraine like to wear unique clothes without spending a fortune; which is why they often make their own clothing. They are generally quite talented at sewing, and if that is not the case, they manage to find a friend who can sew the "customized" dress of their dreams for them.
This is actually one of the main reasons men around the world are attracted to Eastern European women: they know perfectly how to show off their bodies, and for any occasion. They prefer to wear high heels because they know that their legs appear longer and sexy and they seem thinner. And they will wear these high heels even in winter on ice or to drive a car!!
It so enjoyable to watch the approach of Russian & Ukrainian women walk in their high heels!! Many Slavic women walk with great elegance, somewhat in the manner of parading on a catwalk model.
Russian women prefer seductive clothes to comfortable clothes (like jeans etc). For them the most important thing is to feel desirable and they do not care too much about comfort. They attach a great importance to their "look".
They tend to dress sexily regardless of where they are going, whether it’s to the supermarket or to stroll in the countryside.
Ukrainian women like to make an impression on men but they also dress this way for women!! Even if they are trying to seduce a man, they are still trying to "be the best" and instinctively compare themselves to other women. It’s a kind of competition where they continuously try to excel.
A man from Western Europe will thus experience doubt when his Russian wife will go out well dressed to see friends: he will wonder why she is so dressed up to meet with single girlfriends and think she is really meeting a lover!!
Slavic women like to feel "admired" by men; they like to feel this seductive power that overturns the hearts of men. In the past, Russian women were central to many quarrels between men. The famous Russian poet Pushkin was killed by a Frenchman who challenged him for the heart of a beautiful Russian woman!!
But do not get me wrong! The fact that these women have highly suggestive outfits does not mean that they are "easy girls,” it’s the complete opposite!
Slavic women generally have less money than American women. And for obvious financial reasons they rarely have cosmetic surgery for breast implants. Their size makes their body attractive!! The top of the body forms a shape of "V," wide at the chest and very thin at the waist. Since childhood Russian girls are generally obsessed with their size and often compare with their girlfriends. The Russians have a reference in the field: it is the stunning Russian actress Lyudmila Gurchenko who became famous in 1956 with her debut in the film "The Night of the Carnival." She had a waist of 50 cm: you could almost take her waist with both hand !! This unusually small size has become a kind of goal for many Russian women. If you want to give a nice compliment to your sweetheart, tell her that she has Gurchenko size.
Ukrainian & Russian women generally prefer to wear silk stockings rather than normal stocking because they find it much more sexy. These silk stockings were so successful in Russia that their prices have flamed and reach prices that can often seem exorbitant, even for Europeans or Americans!!
Russian & Ukrainian women prefer French perfumes. If you want to offer her a gift at the beginning of your relationship choose a French perfume. You will overwhelm her with happiness. Later, after a few months spent abroad with you she will discover that other countries can also offer excellent perfumes.
Russian women like to emphasize their femininity and physical assets primarily because they like to be complimented on their looks and beauty. You may say that every woman in the world likes to be complimented on her clothes or beauty, but for Russian women it is a real need: Russian men have understood and often compliment their sweetheart ... and it works !! Russian women often feel a lack of confidence in themselves and will need to be continually reassured about their physical appearance and attractiveness.
The fact that a majority of Slavic women feel the need to be the "center of attention" can also be explained by the fact that a majority of them have no brothers or sisters, they are the only child of the family. Many couples in Russia & Ukraine have only one child, and in no way wish to have a second.
Russia has recently experienced an unprecedented demographic crisis: the population has decreased from year to year. A large majority of young Russian couples wish to have only one child.
How does this influence the character and emotional life of Russian women?
I will answer that an only daughter is the center of attention: the parents will consider her as a "little princess", she will not have to share her toys and clothes, she will have the full attention of her father and mother. These only daughters have big ambitions and want to receive as much as they give. Do not think that Russian women are docile and ready to fulfill all your wishes without asking any questions. They are demanding and have a great need for recognition.
In the seduction phase preceding any relationship, a Russian man will always try to impress his "beautiful.” He will spend his monthly salary in one evening to impress his girlfriend even though he knows he will then only eat potatoes for weeks ... a Russian man will never show his love that he has limited financial means or is stingy. He would rather die than admit he is stingy.
In the West it is not uncommon for women to pay their share at a restaurant when a suitor invites them. In Russia / Ukraine, a woman always expects her man to pay for entertainment (restaurant, appetizers, disco etc ...). It is absolutely normal for her, and there is no alternative. If you visit your Russian & Ukrainian sweetheart in her country and she offers to pay for part of the restaurant meal this is a very bad sign for the rest of your relationship!! This means that she does not like you and wants to show you that you have nothing together!!
She might politely offer to pay a portion of the note but she will feel totally disappointed if you agree !! If you insist on paying for all of the evening’s entertainment, you will earn her respect.
For some men it is normal that after the first extravagant date, the man and woman each pay separately, and if that does not happen they consider the Russian or Ukrainian woman with whom they spent the evening to be a crook. Indeed what Ukrainian & Russian women consider to be a “normal” evening between a man and a woman meeting for the first time may seem to be a scam for many Western men!! It is true that some Russian women use meetings with Western men only to be offered lavish gifts but this is an exception, not the rule. If you want to know where to draw the line between a "gold digger" and an honest Russian girl check my anti-scam guide published on this site.
You do not need to spend a fortune or pretend that you are a millionaire to please her!! But you must give all your attention these little details described above.
The cultural differences between Russia / Ukraine and Western Europe / USA can sometimes be the source of misunderstanding between you and your sweetheart. Something that seems normal to you may not be good for you and sometimes she may feel embarrassed or insulted by your attitudes or behaviors.
Here are some attitudes to avoid if you want her to fall in love with you:
- Russia (Ukraine) is a country where some clothing and food may seem very expensive: never tell your sweetheart that you find specific articles "too expensive,” she would take it as a criticism of her country and would feel offended.
- Try to top up when you pay a bill so as not to wait for change.
- If you want to convert your currency into rubles, don’t spend hours in the city of your love looking for the currency exchange that offers the best rates, she might thinks you are a stingy. Or do this search without her.
- Avoid using the words "cheaper" or "too expensive,” do not address a topic relevant to the financial value of this or that. Wait until she brings up the subject and avoid taking a position at this time.
- When you will stroll into town with her you will meet many street flower vendors: do not ignore them completely or pretend not to understand them. Spend a few rubles and give flowers to your love: she will be very grateful and will appreciate the attention you pay her. A single rose and a few loving words can make an unforgettable day and delight your sweetheart. During your visit to her country buy her flowers every day. You will gain her esteem and affection.
- Do not tell her (if it is the case) that you got a charter flight at an unbeatable price to see her, as you could appear stingy.
- As a rule, avoid situations that may be "uncomfortable": do not go shopping with her stick to the theater, a museum, a restaurant or a simple ride into town.
- You invite to the restaurant to spend a romantic evening: very good idea !! For a Russian & Ukrainian woman to be invited in the evening to a restaurant is a great event: she will "be primping" for hours, going to the beauty salon for a manicure, she will make an appointment with a hairdresser, put on her amazing dress (sometimes if she is warned well in advance she will save to buy a new dress especially for this event). Prepare to discover a "princess" in the meeting that night at the restaurant !! And she will expect you to also be well dressed: avoid wearing jeans and sneakers !! Wear the elegant clothes. Nothing could put more uncomfortable for her than a big wardrobe difference between you and her.
- Follow basic courtesy such as opening her the car door, once in the restaurant removing her coat and adjusting her seat when she sits down at the table etc... Slavic women are very sensitive to all these touches. If someone comes to offer you flowers when you're at the table do not hesitate one second and buy some roses for your beautiful.
- During your conversation during the meal, do not talk too much about yourself and listen to what she says, do not hesitate to ask questions. Look her in the eyes and tell her what you feel for her, share your feelings with her, she will be delighted to see the desire and love in your eyes.
- Some "details" that can charm your beautiful if you feel a certain spark between you: kiss her hand, a Russian & Ukrainian woman sees this as a very romantic gesture.
- If there are other gorgeous women in the room, do not look to them! There is no greater insult to a Slavic woman than to see her date attracted by another woman.
- When paying the bill, give some tips. If you do not give a tip, she will think that you are a stingy; do not risk ruining your wonderful evening!! If she is disappointed your beautiful will certainly feel bad but will not say what the problem is.
- Another huge example of "bad taste" in the eyes of women from Russia & Ukrtaine: the famous "doggy bag" as Americans call it. Asking the server to put the leftovers in plastic boxes to take home (hence the name "doggy" for dogs since in theory meals from leftovers are for the dog). The Russians do not know what a "doggy bag" is, they do not even know that this practice exists, according to them only poorly educated people dare ask for plastic boxes to take leftovers home!! Asking for a doggy bag will certainly make your beautiful date very uncomfortable.